One of the reasons that I left my successful career in the NHS and as a Lecturer teaching CBT and psychology, was because I no longer believed in what I was being told to teach.
I was trained to teach people that in order to have resilience and wellbeing that they needed to;
- Think differently
- Act differently
- Learn tools, techniques, and strategies
In other words, my work was about adding to our psychology to try to teach wellbeing.
The problem with this approach is that it implies that our resilience, happiness and wellbeing isn’t innate. And that just isn’t true.
When you think about it, kids don’t have to go to classes to learn how to cope with stress, or be happy. Happiness, creativity and openness are their natural state. It’s built into them.
Whilst all children and adults think themselves out of their peace and happiness at times, as soon as we let go of that thinking and feeling, we are back in our natural resting state of wellbeing. Neuroscience shows this. Kids tend to bounce back quicker, and adults tend to hold onto their thinking for longer.
Given that our wellbeing is innate, and inherent within all of us, my work started becoming about subtraction. I call it subtractive thinking. Removing the thinking that’s in the way of your peace, wellbeing and natural resilience.
Essentially what I learnt was that you don’t have to work hard for your wellbeing or resilience, but that it is already innate within you. You were born with resilience and wellbeing. You just need to know how to access it…
There was a recent piece of research in the work I’m involved in that showed that people who are aware of their innate wellbeing are 87% more likely to thrive in times of stress and challenge, compared to the general population who are not trained in knowing that their wellbeing is innate, who are only 27% likely to thrive. That’s a huge statistical difference!
My interpretation of these findings is this;
When we struggle with life, we can either choose to look outside of ourselves for the answer, in the form of trying to change the situation, look to someone else for answers, work harder, or we might seek relief and withdraw into alcohol, sleep, medication, etc.
Or, we can choose to drop into the place within ourselves that is already and always well. You just need to know that it’s there, and know how to find it.
A lot of my work is about helping people re-find this place within them that is always well, despite their thinking, despite any trauma, and despite their bank balance, or anything else that looks like its clouding over their wellbeing.
I talk at length about this topic of innate wellbeing in my new book, A Clear Mind. If you haven’t already bought a copy, you might want to check it out.
