People hire me for two reasons:
1) There’s something they want, and they recognise it would be easier with some support, or impossible without it.
2) There’s something they are struggling with, and they want some support in overcoming it.
And so how do I do those two things?
If someone wants something such as more money, a better job, to grow their business or better overall wellbeing, we start by exploring why they haven’t got that already.
What we then discover, is where we might benefit from focusing our time together to bring that thing into reality.
If someone is struggling, we look at their mindset, what they’ve already tried, why it hasn’t worked, and what will.
In both cases, I use my coaching to show them more about how life really works, as opposed to how you think it works.
What do I mean by that?
Well, all people have unconscious biases that mean they get stuck.
Have you ever heard the saying “What got you here, won’t get you there.”
We all have limiting beliefs that we developed. These limiting beliefs helped us function at one time, but they tend to get in our way when we use those same limiting beliefs to navigate a different part of our life.
What almost every other discipline fails in, is changing these limiting beliefs.
CBT tries to get you to think differently.
Mindfulness tries to get you to develop a different relationship to your thoughts.
And my field (psycho-transformative coaching) helps you see what beliefs really are.
And here’s the secret…
Beliefs are actually decisions.
But you’ve never been told that have you?
Here’s a real life example from my own life to help you see this…
When I was 5 I recall an incident at school where I got an answer wrong.
People looked at me.
Those were the facts.
But what you didn’t see, is what happened in my mind.
I made that mean I was stupid.
You see, I made a decision about what getting an answer wrong meant.
And I made the conclusion that I was stupid. But it was literally just an idea in my head.
Not only that, but I also made a decision (rule) about how to navigate life –
I was never going to put my hand up again.
Can you relate?
How many decisions and rules do you have from your past (baggage) that limit you?
Years later when I discovered this (it was unconscious) CBT tried to help me change the belief. But then I was just putting a new belief on an old belief.
It didn’t work (CBT only works approx. 30% of the time – I should know, I used to lecture in it).
Mindfulness tried to help me distance myself from the belief – but I still believed it.
It wasn’t until I developed my own model that I saw that beliefs are just decisions that we make when we are hurt, stressed, or things aren’t going our way.
What decisions did you make about yourself, your life, and the people in it when you were upset?
It’s only when you see this, and only then that you have any chance at overcoming your limiting beliefs.
You can’t change a story you’ve been telling yourself for years, until you truly see that it’s a story.
And stories are not truths.
Since developing this model I’ve worked with hundreds of people with some truly life changing results. When you’re ready, I’ll work with you too.
Coming back to why we struggle in life, it’s always because of a limiting belief or rule that you created for yourself. And it’s almost certainly unconscious.
It will show up in the areas of life where you’re triggered, feel stuck or lost, or self-sabotage.
If you want to change your story, or dissolve your limiting beliefs once and for all, you can join me on my 2 day workshop in Dorset, or I also have a 12 week online course starting in September.
And if you’re not quite ready for either, you can join me in my next free mindset workshop. I’ll be running one the 2nd and last Wednesday of each month. Each session will be different and I think you might just get something from it.
