Ok that title was just for effect. The more accurate heading would be – Affirmations don’t work on their own.
Affirmations do work – as long as you make them work for you. In short, you need to act as if they are true. Read on for more…
Affirmations are a common tool for building self-esteem, confidence, and creating a life of abundance.
If you don’t know what affirmations are, at the simplest level they are a series of positive statements, about yourself, or your life. For example, “I am confident, and carefree”, or “I make decisions with clarity”.
So, if you are someone that at times, lacks confidence, or is self-critical, or indecisive, affirmations could help you.
I often find however, that affirmations are not understood, and not used as powerfully as they can be.
Imagine saying to yourself; “I am worthy, and treat myself with love”, while you’ve had a day of eating rubbish food, criticising yourself, and not moving your body.
Or you have the affirmation; “I trust myself and follow my intuition”. Then when you go out for dinner you ask your friend or partner to help you decide on what you should have off the menu.
In this way, affirmations won’t do you much good.
Affirmations can be passive, or they can be active and congruent with our actions.
Affirmations need to be personalised
There’s no use in using someone else’s affirmations. If you read a book, or ‘Google’ some of the most common affirmations, they won’t be meaningful to you.
Your affirmations should reflect the highest essence of who you are. You at your best.
Your personal affirmations are about you when you are not triggered, feeling down, or anxious.
Your own affirmations should reflect the version of you when you have moments of clarity, without your baggage, and without fear and self-doubt. They are you at your very best and highest consciousness.
To get to your own affirmations however, you sometimes have to go through the opposite of this state to get to them…
Your triggers show you where you are not free
When you are triggered (something upsets you, or causes you some emotional hurt, pain, or discomfort) it reveals something inside of yourself.
Say someone criticises you. Your own reaction shows you some interesting and useful areas of potential growth.
If they say something that you feel deeply and truly comfortable with, you will find that you have little to no emotional reaction.
However, if you feel hurt, ashamed, angry, or defensive, this person’s words reveal something in you, that if you are honest, you already believed before they triggered it.
The real insight here is that other people’s words can only hurt you if you already believe them. If the belief was already in you.
This shows you an area that you would benefit from an affirmation.
So, if someone says to you “You are so indecisive”, and you know that to be true. This is an affirmation that you might benefit from;
“I make decisions using my inner wisdom and intuition”.
Then you need to follow that up in action, and reflect that in your behaviour.
This can start small, such as decisions when food shopping as to what to buy. And then you can work up to the big stuff.
For me personally, I have some of the following affirmations;
I let go continually, and have a complete absence of struggle with anything in my life.
I am intimate with reality.
I work smart. Not hard.
I love and accept all parts of me. Especially the parts that hurt and don’t feel loving.
These affirmations came because I was not always believing this, and this was an area of growth that I required.
I did the work and now I act, and feel like these statements are true for me.
If you don’t choose your thoughts, your thoughts will choose you.
We are all subject to our conditioning. If like me, (and most people) you have had a life filled with challenges, you will have developed some unhealthy thinking patterns.
It’s helpful to remember that this is not who you are.
You are not your thoughts.
You are not the words that come and go.
Sometimes we tell ourselves something so often it feels like truth to us.
But thoughts are not facts.
So if you tell yourself any version of you not being good enough, or less than worthwhile, do the work. Then find what you need to hear, and then tell yourself that – twice a day.
And act like you believe it.
If you’d like my help, I’m here.
In my work as a Life Coach, I help people find a deep sense of wellbeing, freedom, purpose, and fulfilment, and affirmations is at times, one of the areas that we explore together.